Love Kills Slowly

My favorite phrase from Ed Hardy..."love kills slowly." It's true on a lot of levels, because I feel a lot of the time like I've lost myself because I fell in love with someone. In essence falling in love killed the independent me. The me who didn't need anybody to make her feel complete. The me who though maybe a bit selfish, had a clear path and clear goals. The me who didn't let another person dictate who she is or how she feels. The me who didn't have to try so hard and could just be. The me who didn't always feel like she could never be good enough.

I love someone who I'm not even sure is capable of love. And I'm on the verge of losing it completely. The different "me's" are constantly at war right now, battling it out to determine who I'm going to be. And I have to say, he's pushing me to the point that it will probably be the me without a man that wins out. I don't really know how much I can take before I have to scream out "ENOUGH!" and walk away...cut my losses and move on. I love him but I know that what is going on right now isn't good for me. Loving him changes me. And sometimes in ways that I really don't like.