How I Felt

I wrote this piece a long time ago, and I just found it in a pile of my school stuff. Thought I;d share it, even though its not really developed...it's a rough freewrite, but its honest:

I am better than this, smarter than that. Sweeter than all of them. Fantastic, sarcastics, asstastic. Haha. Nothing to scoff at, nothing to scorn. Nothing to pity and nothing to mourn. Who am I? What am I? How can I? When will I? Will there be an us? Or just a you and a me? Separate and unequal. Forever drawn together and perpetually torn apart. What to do? What to do?

I remember the day that I wrote that. I would've written more, but I was summoned upstairs to go have sex with Josh in the bathroom upstairs while he was supposed to be "showering." We were sneaking around because his ignorant, a**hole of a friend was staying at my place too. This was only a few days before the end too. It has a certain poignancy for me now. Makes me remember that there were almost no happy times.