The last...

The last in a string of disappointments and shattered hopes. At least I know it's finally over. At least, its finally over for me. This was the last straw...and there have been many moments before when it should have been just that and wasn't. But I'm coming back to town in a week. And I'm a changed woman. I can't go back to being the person I was with him, and he can't move beyond what he was, is, and forever will me. It's sad but not entirely unexpected.

The end of my birthday represents the beginning of a new chapter in my life. There was the pre-J, the year of the J, and the post J. We've now entered the period of post-J, and while it's hard to fathom going back to my town and not spending all my time with him as I did before, I know I can and must do it. Go back, go to school, apply for PhD programs elsewhere and maintain my focus. That's the only way I can get through this and build a real life for myself. A life that I enjoy living, that does not make me constantly miserable. A life that does not include a man whose sole purpose is to bring misery and pain to women...whose sole function in this world is to teach us all a lesson in how fucked up a person can get, and how they can take out their self-loathing on others. Goodbye forever. This is the start of something new, and I'm going to succeed in this world without you.