Welcome to my World

I used to be an intelligent woman. I was dedicated and smart, kind and reliable. I was on my way to a Masters Degree. I had good friends with whom I was evenly yoked. I had goals and plans for the future, and there was no possible reason that I wasn’t going to one day achieve those goals. I had everything in the world going for me. But then I met him and my world fell apart, everything unraveled and I was left with almost nothing. I’m not telling you this to tell a sob story. I don’t want your sympathy. I don’t deserve it. Every decision I made was my own, and every consequence is my responsibility. Yes, this man is very much to blame for my destitution, but I am too. I also don’t need or want you chastisement, because believe me I’ve heard it all before from every source imaginable…family, friends, roommates, relative strangers, neighbors, even the police. The worst chastisement has come from myself, because through the whole thing, I honestly knew better.

Being the person that I am though, I figured that I needed to turn the worst ordeal of my life into something useful, even if not exactly useful to myself. It’s too late to undo all the damage I did to my life. So instead, I’m writing this and hoping that I can spare some other woman from this kind of misery and stupidity. I don’t consider myself wise and I’m certainly not an authority on life. But I am the only person who knows the whole story of what happened in mine, and if even one other woman can benefit from the depths of my stupidity, I feel the whole ordeal will have been worthwhile.

Some may think upon reading what is to come that I’m writing this out of revenge, to get back at the man who is the root cause of all of my current problems. This is simply not the case either. Karma will take care of him one day, and I’ll have nothing to do with it, because I want nothing more to do with him. Once the story’s off my chest, then I will have purged him from my life and heart once and for all, at least I sincerely hope so. Ladies (and gentlemen), please learn from my many, many mistakes. And I leave you to the story with one final warning: Do not try this at home!